A Big, Fat, Greek Mess

The U.S. stock market has done a turnabout from “whoopee!” to “yikes!” in the space of one week, as word comes that the Greek government is on the verge of imploding (literally, judging by the pictures). While European mandarins were backslapping one another last week about “coming to a solution” about the dissolving Grecian economy, the Hellenes were busy making other plans.

No, I don’t mean they’ve arranged the rights to shoot “My Big, Fat, Greek Wedding VI” in Patras, though the tourism industry is the only one even lukewarm nowadays. That little slice of baba ghanoush looks to go bye-bye too as constant rioting in the streets has ceased to be amusing entertainment for understimulated tourists.

What the Greek politicians plan now under their socialist president Papandreou (Gk. for “sugar daddy”) is to lock up the EU bailout and hold early elections so the socialists can finish the job of wrecking the economy. In the meantime, instead of actually doing something productive, disgruntled civil service workers and the unemployed idle are clashing over how to divvy up the bailout pie.

The spend-drunk Greeks finally have stop dancing around the ugly facts and close down their intergenerational festivities. And just like at a big, fat, Greek wedding, the drinks have come flying at the bride’s German in-laws, who have glimpsed the catering bill and abruptly sent the violinists and the wait-staff home. In order to quell the uproar, the German-led EU even offered to clear the place and give the Greeks a fresh start. But the silly goats, they just wanna keep on dancin’ the night away.

Little do the guests know that this is the last dance for the Greeks; and inevitably, for the EU. The socialist Ponzi schemes have started to come unraveled like a caught thread from a wedding gown, while the bride obliviously approaches the utopian altar. What looks like a classic scene from Aristophanic comedy is descending into Aeschylean tragedy. And while Athena was able to intervene on behalf of the matricidal Orestes and convince the jury to show mercy, there is no such goddess of wisdom to advocate on behalf of the Greeks (all rumors about Angela Merkel aside).  Economic reality is a pitiless judge, and for the Greeks to divinely escape fate, a true miraculous thing will need to happen: They will have to stop feeling entitled to each other’s labor and actually get back to work.

As posted on Political Crush.

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