Like a plotline from one of those hoaky Superman movies, some network of criminal masterminds has stolen a van filled with Barack Obama’s podium, presidential seal, and yes, even his prized teleprompter. Whether a band of merry pranksters or some hapless schlubs now drawing the attention of every Johnny Utah hotshot FBI agent in the country, the crooks may have unintentionally given America the greatest benefit imaginable: a day off from a Barack Obama speech.
It is unclear the motives of the thieves, whether the tea party’s answer to “Anonymous,” or a chance for the ultimate joyride, but one thing is clear: these badboys are tugging on Superman’s cape. If there is a Lex Luther mega-genius behind all this, he better have a huge stash of Obama Kryptonite on hand: a crate full of empty 1099 forms would do the trick.
In the truck was about $200,000 worth of sound equipment, also a key power of “the most eloquent president in American history.” Obama will need his god voice back if he is to overcome his flagging approval rating. Never underestimate the power of overamplified echo.
For the time being, the Obama administration has gone into lockdown, putting out an all points bulletin to have the suspected apprehended, and the president’s mojo returned. Without his special effects and predigested thoughts, he’s just another radical community organizer with a penchant for umming his way through overcalculated utterances.
[Continued at Political Crush]