Fine, it is just a coincidence that union workers, welfare recipients, African Americans, teachers, professors, lawyers, artists, and entertainers overwhelmingly vote for the Democrats. Could be completely random. I mean, there is a better than nothing chance that these people all happen to be geniuses who have epiphanies upon entering certain professions or simply get it by virtue of being born with a certain skin color, while more than half the American population remains exactly wrong. There couldn’t be any indoctrination going on. Nuh uh. No way.
But we’ll leave that aside and ask ourselves a fanciful question: What if?
If one were an evil mastermind, an omnipotent demon of the Cartesian imagination, who could concoct the perfect radical operative conducive to an agenda of fomenting internecine civil strife, what would that incarnation look like?
Ladies and gentleman, I give you Activistein.
A concatenation combining brains as plastic, moldable, and impressionable as silly putty, the arrogance of an English lord, the spine of a microwaved jellyfish, and the clothes and fragrance of a homeless crack addict, this walking braindead would be the perfect candidate to usher in a pointless revolution. Supremely confident of his utter genius, he would seek to replace the “unjust” system of free market capitalism with something, whatever it is being wonderfully “fair,” though he would have no idea in practice how that paradisical world would work consistent with material reality, individual rights, human dignity, or democracy. [Continued on Political Crush]